Ten Things I Hate About You Part Two
by Ruthyroo
Summary: Part Two is Brendan's ten things. For marble eyes and anon. Stendan.


**This Fic is for marble eyes and one of my anons. I hope you all enjoy it.**

**Ten Things I Hate About You**

**Part Two :)**

It's getting to me in here, in this prison, but it's my home now; if you can call it that. I have all this time, time to think about things and I feel like I'm slowly losing my mind. My sanity is being tested constantly and I need to release these thoughts and emotions before I explode. It's so hard wanting you, but not being able to have you. I want to touch you, hold you in my arms and tell you everything I'm thinking. Now I can only put pen to paper and write down how I feel. Maybe I should be thankful for that. I wish that Death would take me and free me from my torture of this life without you.

One: I guess I should start with that donkey laugh of yours. I'm sure I heard you before I saw you, the first day we met. I hoped it was just a once off, a nervous laugh of some kind, but as our relationship grew so did that laugh. At times I have wanted to gag you or take you to the beach with the other donkeys.

Two: The chavtastic trackies. You seemed to go anywhere and everywhere with them on; you must have a tracksuit for every occasion, a bit like me with my suits I guess. Your taste in clothes never was that good. I remember that shirt you wore on your date with Rae; I teased you about it being 80's night. You told me it was decent and I came back at you with "yeah for crossing the road when it's dark." I can still see your face now, you said you didn't want to look like a muppet.

Three: Nosiness. From the minute I met you I knew that you would be involved in my life. I mean I didn't really have a choice did I? You interfered right from the start. Constantly asking questions and putting two and two together, filling in the blanks in my life. You always had to know what was going on, but then you would always strop if you didn't like the outcome. I even twisted you nose once, but that still didn't stop you. You hated anything dodgy I did, even at the end. You're like a human sniffer dog. Mmm I can just picture you now sniffing around me on your hands and knees, that'll stick in my head now.

Four: The mother of your kids. I guess I shouldn't hate this one, but I can't help it. You would act like someone I didn't even know around her, someone I didn't wanna know. She judged everything I said or did and you became exactly the same as her at times. Your usual forgiving nature slowly fading away thanks to the harshness of Amy Barns. She turned on you in an instant when we got back together and you gave her the power to control you once more.

Five: Douglas and the Deli. I guess these two go hand in hand, but I hate them both equally. You and Douglas with your matching uniforms and gay smiles, It's enough to put anyone off their food. It put me off mine plenty of times and that's saying something. You carried on and built a life without me, a life where I never existed and you stole from me to get that life. "Have a nice day." I still hear Douglas saying that. Some days I just wanted to put a match to the place, preferably with him inside.

Six: Your accent and the way you talked sometimes. How you would say "me" on the end of everything. I'm dead excited me or I can't handle anymore me or I love you me. Me me me me me all the bloody time. I guess it was just your inner chav coming out time and time again. The part of yourself that you could never lose although at times I wish you did as it got on my nerves. Even how you would say Brendan sometimes would sound painful and prolonged.

Seven: Your dingy council flat. The look, the sight, the smell, everything about it was disgusting. Sometimes I wondered how you were even allowed to bring up Leah and Lucas in there. I think you did make improvements to it once, you were painting that time I come round looking for Declan. You had more on you than the walls. Painting and decorating was never going to be one of your strong points not with those little chicken arms of yours. When I moved in we talked about decorating, I remember you telling me how good you were at painting and how much you loved DIY. I nearly choked to death that day.

Eight: Endless chatter. I'm sure you could talk for England; You would go on and on and on and most of the time you didn't even stop to take a breath. I remember many nights falling asleep after listening to you talk the whole evening away. It was hard for me to get a word in edge ways with you. It was easier for me to not say anything at all; instead I would listen and listen and listen. You always did go on a bit didn't you? I think you always will.

Nine: Doubting me. Some may think I deserve this and that's fine but you always doubting me was something that I could never get my head around. I guess the punches and the abuse and the lies all took their toll on you in the end. You believed I could put my hands on another man and you believed that I wanted to be intimate with another man. I told you I didn't touch him, I told you the truth, but you never believed me. You started doubting me all over again when I needed you the most. You failed me.

Ten: Letting go. This is the one I hate the most, the one that makes me want to die. The last time I ever saw your face I even shouted it. "Steven Let go." Do you remember? I just never expected you to actually do it. I thought you'd want to see me, demand to see me, but you gave up on me…you let go. You told me you'd always be there, but you lied and I'm left with just my memories of a life I used to know. Why did you let me slip away from you so easily?

I hate that all the things I hate about you are also all the things I love about you. I love your donkey laugh, how it got underneath my skin and into my heart. I love how it would even make me laugh in the end and god I'd cut my arm off to hear it now. I wonder if anyone makes you laugh like that now, you know how I used to? I love how good you would look in anything that you wore and whenever I did make a sly remark is was only because I was jealous. The trackies are my favourites, you look amazing in them and I hope and pray that you are still wearing them now. They are a part of you and will always remind me of you. I love how nosey you were when we first met, how in some small way it brought us closer together. I love that you never gave up. You had to know everything. I admire that. I love how much respect you have for Amy, even when at times you shouldn't have had. She defended you against me, but she let you down just as much at times and sometimes even more. You always forgave her as you did me.

I guess I even love how much Douglas cares about you; at least you will always have someone there for you, although if he tries any funny business you know in that next life? I'll bloody kill him. I love knowing that you have the income from the deli; it gives me peace of mind. I even love the way you talk, it drives me crazy one minute then makes me want to rip your clothes off the next. I guess I adore everything about you. I love how we were going to turn your flat into our home and make it everything we wanted it to be. I wish I was there with you now. I love how your endless chatter could make me calm…I could listen to you all day do you know that? I love how you were always strong enough to stand up to me, including doubting me. It made me realise that you'll cope just fine without me and I needed to know that. You're stronger than me anyway. I love so much about you always have and always will. I just hate that I am gone from your world and that I can't show you how much you mean to me. But this is just us though isn't it? We get ripped from each other life's, but we always find our way back together in the end. I just wish I didn't tell you to let go, when all I really wanted to do was tell you to hold on, just like I am and will do to you for the rest of my life.

**Please review my lovelies. :) xxxxxxxxx**


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